This week (26 September – 2 October) is Organ Donation week – an annual campaign to raise awareness and encourage conversations around organ donation.
Today, Honey Marchbanks, explains why she made the decision to donate her son Connor’s heart, and why that decision brings her so much comfort and pride.
In the summer of 2019, 24-year-old Connor had spent the day with his mum Honey “We’d had a lovely day together, Connor was going to Ladies Day and wanted to get a new suit, so we went shopping and had some lunch – just a really lovely, normal day.” said Honey.
Earlier that week, Connor had been promoted to assistant manager of the electrical store where he worked and asked Honey if they could celebrate with a takeaway. “He wasn’t one for a fuss – he didn’t ever want to go out for a meal for his birthday in case we got him balloons!” Honey continues “That evening, Connor began to complain of a headache, he never complained of feeling poorly. He asked for some painkillers and went off to bed. I went up to check on him and the pain was worse, so I asked my husband to get some more painkillers – I turned round to check on Connor and he was having a seizure.”
The family called 999 and after arriving at hospital, doctors explained that Connor had a malformation on his brain which had caused a massive bleed and sadly there was nothing they could do.
“It was devastating – the doctors said that in every other way Connor was so fit and healthy – we couldn’t believe what was happening. I asked about organ donation and the team came to speak to us to explain what would happen.
“Initially I said no – he was my only child and organ donation was something we’d never talked about. Connor didn’t carry a card, so I spoke to my mum and his friends, and it was just something that had never been discussed.”
Honey made the selfless decision to donate Connor’s heart which went on to save the life of another young man in his 20s: “The more I thought about it and thought about what kind of person he was, and something clicked. I felt if I donated his heart, it would be like he was still alive somewhere.”
“I would encourage everyone to talk about organ donation. It is such a difficult decision to make if you don’t know what to do.
“In that moment, you are grieving, it is the worst time of your life but if you can get past that moment – the pride and comfort it brings you afterwards makes things easier.
“If you have those conversations now then if you do find yourself in that awful situation you will know what your loved one’s wishes are.”
Honey remains extremely proud of Connor and is comforted by the knowledge that his heart saved the life of another person. She recently received The Order or St John UK Award for Organ Donation which honours the incredible gifts donors and their families in the UK make by donating their organs to save and improve the lives of others. “Connor was my only child – I was always so proud of him – and he is still making me proud today.”
Every day across the UK, someone dies waiting for an organ transplant.
The law around organ donation in England has changed to help more people pass on more organs to save and improve more lives.
You still have a choice if you want to be an organ donor when you die.
Whatever you decide, make sure you let your family and friends know.
