There are many changes a young person may experience in their life which may make things difficult. Some examples include:
- Becoming ill suddenly.
- A family member or friend being ill or dying.
- Parents separating.
- Moving schools.
- Getting bad news.
Case study
Ryan is a young person who recently had to adjust to a change in his life. Ryan had some bad news about his health and was told he had an illness that would make his life different.
A change like this can sometimes make people think, feel and behave differently to how they normally would.
Thoughts
Some of the things that Ryan thought were:
- How has this happened?
- What if things had been different?
- Why has this happened to me and nobody else?
- Why has everything been spoilt?
- Could I have stopped this from happening?
- What will happen in the future?
Some of the things Ryan felt:
- Angry
- Sad
- Frightened
- Confused
- Worried
- Frustrated
- Worried
Behaviours
Ryan found that he was having these things happen to him:
- Having trouble sleeping.
- Feeling shaky.
- Not being able to concentrate.
- Feeling unsettled.
- Sometimes feeling moody, and not wanting to spend as much time with others.
- Sometimes ‘snapping’ at family or friends more easily.
- Being more grumpy.
- Feeling like crying all of the time.
- Not coping in school.
When a sudden change happens it is normal to feel affected by it and you might experience some of these thoughts, feeling and behaviours. It is possible that you might feel like giving up on your hopes and dreams when you experience a sudden change in your life. But there are things that you can do to help.
Ryan experienced these thoughts, feelings and behaviours. He decided he needed to try some things that might help him come to terms with the change in his life.
When a sudden change happens it is normal to feel affected by it and you might experience some of these thoughts, feeling and behaviours. It is possible that you might feel like giving up on your hopes and dreams when you experience a sudden change in your life. But there are things that you can do to help.
Ryan experienced these thoughts, feelings and behaviours. He decided he needed to try some things that might help him come to terms with the change in his life.
Talking to people
Ryan thought that it was important to talk to people so they knew how he was feeling. Ryan spoke to his parents and friends. Just talking about his feelings helped him to feel better.
There were a few things about Ryan’s illness that he was a little bit confused about. Talking to the doctors, nurses and the psychologist working in the team helped Ryan to get answers to some of his questions, which helped him to understand things more clearly. Sometimes when we don’t fully understand something it can make it harder for us to deal with it.
Unfortunately some of the questions Ryan had did not have answers. This was hard for him to deal with. The doctors, nurses and psychologists tried their best to answer all the questions they could. Sometimes there just isn’t an answer for all the questions we might have.
Ryan said, “Don’t keep things to yourself and don’t bottle things up”.
Allowing himself to be upset
A sudden change can be hard to deal with and it is important that you allow yourself to be upset; being upset is a very normal reaction to a change. Ryan found it hard to let himself be upset at first, but he soon realised it was impossible to keep these feelings to himself. Ryan felt better after letting himself get upset about the change in his life.
Other people close to Ryan also found the change hard and sometimes got upset too. At first Ryan found it hard to see them upset, but he realised that they were upset because they cared about him and this was normal too.
Making new goals and plans
Because of the change Ryan experienced he had to change his goals. Ryan is very good at football and wanted to become a professional football player.
Because of his illness he had to change the team that he played in.
Ryan had to wait a while until he was ready to think about changing his goals. This was because it was hard for him to think of anything different.
It is important to wait until you feel ready to do this and give yourself plenty of time to come to terms with a change. Get more information, give yourself time and talk to people before you change anything.
Even though this hard thing has happened you might still be able to have some fun times and put your problems out of your head. Think about your strengths and try and set some other goals for yourself.
As time goes on
When sudden change has happened in your life you might find that things get better for a while then seem to get worse again.
Ryan said, “These are usually just blips or set backs and are not major”. He gives this advice, “Try to keep yourself busy, see your friends, do stuff you enjoy, give yourself some time off from thinking about it”.
He also said to remind yourself that these feelings will get less as time goes on.
Useful websites
There are some websites for young people that you might find useful to help you adjust to the change in your life.
www.youngminds.org.uk
www.streetwisenorth.org.uk
This information has been produced by the Department of Psychology in Healthcare. Clinical Psychologists are based at the RVI and Freeman Hospitals. If you have any further concerns about the issues discussed, please discuss these with your GP or medical team.
Grab a piece of paper and use this space to write down the changes that are happening or have happened in your life. How have these changes made you think, feel and behave? You can use this information to help discussions with your doctor, nurse or psychologist.
